Kristen (skarky) wrote,

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Life and Death

What is wrong with us? Why do we simply let people get old and gray, lose all their dignity through illness until they wither away and die? Why don't we have mercy? Why are people so determined to push life to it's ultimate limits and see that people (or even animals) live as long a life as possible? Does it matter how long we live if we live every day in suffering and agony? Does it matter that we wither into a shell of our former selves and can't leave our own homes? Why do we make people live through this suffering? Are we so unwilling as a society to accept any form of defeat (because let's be honest that's how we see it) that we have to push and push until there are no more limits left? Scratch the part about animals. They have it different from people. Why do we show are pets mercy and euthanize them when they are living a life of illness and suffering with no hope of recovery and yet we push our very own family members to the it simply because we are too selfish and pig headed to let them go, even if that is what they wish more than anything? Martyrs are the worst kinds of people. They want their own suffering (even if they suffer very little in comparison) to matter more than their loved ones. They seek attention..they don't care if it takes attention off the person who really needs care. Why do children care so little (or show so little care at least) for the people who raised them..without whom they would not exist? When you have all the money in the world and the ability to help your own parents who are in need of it, why do you deny them that? Although, at least you want to show mercy. The one person in my family who's showing compassion and not being totally fucking selfish. Why are we all so fucking co-dependent anyway? It disgusts me. My best friend lost her father when she was fifteen years old. Her brother was ten. My mother and her siblings have had their father their entire lives and now he wants to stop the treatment that is sucking the fucking life force out of him and they won't let him. He will never recover. They know this. Yet they will never stop pushing, never free their minds of the God damn denial that possesses them. They will never let go. They seem to think (or are trying to trick themselves into thinking) that things will change..that there will be some sort of miraculous recovery. There won't be. It's his kidneys. That's what's going to kill him. Before the dialysis, they were working at 9%..if he stops it, he'll die within days. I know a man who's in his forties, also on dialysis because he has a kidney disease he inherited from his mother. Dialysis sucks really does..but this man has a chance of getting a new kidney..a chance at new life..and he I said he's young..he has a 14 year old daughter..they need to do everything they can for him. Hell..I'd give him my kidney if I was a match probably. I have a friend who has a 40 year old uncle with five children who's dying of cancer. There's nothing they can do for him. That's a horrible, horrible thing, but my grandfather is 85 years old. He's lived a very full life..married 60 plus to watch his four children grow up and have children of their own. He loved his life and knows he was blessed. He is grateful. He knows it's time for it to end. I don't think he's scared. They do, but I know better. He's a brave man and so he's not scared..if he's scared, it's not for himself, rather for the people he's leaving behind. He knows they are all in denial, he knows they cannot accept death...I used to not be able to either. When my best friend lost her father (my uncle and godfather) I could not accept death..mostly because he was so young and I didn't understand or know how to handle death at the time. I learned how scared I really was of it when my other best friend lost her mother a few years later. It was the first time I was ever truly scared of losing a parent. The next few years went by and I saw someone that sick (my grandfather) firsthand and I realized anything but letting that person go when it's time for them to is a lack of mercy, kindness, and compassion. What kind of person did I want to be? Did I want to be the kind that kept pushing and pushing or did I want to be the person who realizes and accepts that there is really very little we can control in life and that sometimes we have to just let go? I eventually chose the latter. Don't get me's not their fault really..they're just not that wise. I'm not saying that I's just that they let their judgment get clouded. They think of what they want, rather than what he needs.
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